I was talking to my friend recently, and we both admitted we got married because we were totally in lust. We were laughing about how many of our early days of marriage we spent in bed. I can remember my husband saying, “But we have to get something done, Sharon.” My internal thought was, “why?” LOL. How times change. I cherish those years and I cherish the young bride I was and how I viewed the world. We would never get old, we would live forever. Everything would always be exciting and would turn out perfect. Our love would sustain us through thick and thin, if not by the sheer power of sex!
Don’t get me wrong, I highly recommend this way of getting together, but love has become so much more for me. In addition to the physicality of making love, the long term friendship and the practice of being in love is what I’ve come to understand and fully appreciate. That is what sustains me today.
Over the years we learn to bend. Being married can be a lot of work sometimes. There are highs and lows. I’m remembering the line from Good Will Hunting when Robin Williams talks about his wife, and how there were ups and downs, and, with a smile he said, “the year she died was one of those good ones.” I watch couples who talk over dinner and hold hands, at any age. They practice communication and show affection. This is the miracle of love.
The Practice of Love is like a meditation in doing for someone else. We find it easy to do when we love our children. Some would say it’s just a natural love. Sometimes loving our partner doesn’t feel that natural. And that’s when the practice of sharing love comes in. Something simple, but something every day. The practice reminds us that our love isn’t how we feel, but how we act.
In the end, being loveable isn’t about bodies or sex, although I think it’s important to enjoy those things at any age. Being loveable is being worthy of love. And we are worthy of love when we give it away.
And when we give it away with our full heart, it grows and comes back to us ten-fold. Now who said there were no such things as miracles?
I spent Valentine’s Day in labor with this little one. He was born on February 15th, today, so many years ago, and was the first of our four children. It was a magical time in my life and something I’m so grateful for having experienced.
So I guess I’d say the Practice of Love is more than sex or passion, or births or families. Love is who we are. Our constant friend, throughout all the phases of our life.