Not Quitting

Nano has been a bust for me this year, and unless I pull “two-dayer”, which I don’t do any longer, I will not make the word count. Of course, I could figure my edits in that, but they aren’t new words, or at least half of them aren’t, so that would be cheating. My new book comes out in December, and there were last-minute edits I chose to do, and I hadn’t planned on them right in the middle of Nano. It was the right thing to do.

But I’m not quitting my Nano goal. I’m going on to see how many I can do. Complicated with family drama over the Thanksgiving Holiday, which always seems to happen. As someone much wiser than me said, “It rarely is a Normal Rockwell moment,” meaning, my expectations almost always exceed what happens in real time. But getting real has been what this year has been about, so I accept that. No, my dinner was perfect, was not a Norman Rockwell picture, but pretty darned close. It was Sharon’s family, and that’s more than fine for me.

My 3 year old granddaughter brought a stepstool into the kitchen and said, “Grandma, I help you now.” I like that she didn’t ask me, she told me what she was going to do. Good going, little one. You have learned something at 3 it took me many years to master. Her sweet little face looking up at me caused me to realize that, of course, everything goes better with sugar. And of course I said yes. And as daunting as the other drama of the holidays can be, it is the beginning of her life, her memories, and I’m here and present and clear of mind to enjoy them, and help make them happy ones. What better gift can I give my grandchildren than the gift of a happy childhood? Not me alone. It does take a family. But I’m part of that family, even though parts of it don’t work well.

That’s what’s real. That is something I am thankful for.