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How You Can Tell 2018 Is Not Going To Be Great

Happy New Year!

I’d like to start off this year with some humor. Here are my 10 best reasons why your 2018 will not be your best ever:

  1.  Your free satellite connection that came with your new TV turned off at December 31, just as the ball was dropping.
  2. The $50 bottle of champagne you opened didn’t have any fizz.
  3. You got ten marriage proposals from African princes named “Jeff” within the first 10 minutes of 2018.
  4. You were placed in a messenger group with 500 other beings who like to talk a lot.
  5. Your son’s ex-girlfriend posted New Years’ pictures of her and your first husband. Nekked.
  6. You drag yourself to bed at 1 AM and discover your dog with muddy paws has decided to snuggle there too.New Year Clock2
  7. You discover your print book order got sent to one of your readers (you forgot to change the address).
  8. Your new neighbors move in and now have twenty Harleys parked on their front lawn for New Years’.
  9. Your new release on Amazon today contained the unedited snarky file you made when you were drunk and emailing your writer friend, and you had forgotten to change the manuscript before you hit send.
  10. You told off that annoying friend who was always trying to get you to sign up for her Tupperware parties, and you accidentally emailed your entire contacts database of some 33,000.

I’m sure it will be much better than that. Do you have one you could add?

New Year Clock3Hope you have the brightest of New Years. I know it will be your best. I’m counting on it being mine. And with you by my side, it will be!!

Love you all, my beauties!!

This Post Has 26 Comments

  1. I can tell 2018 isn’t going to be that great when you start getting knocks on the door at 8pm and people start arriving for a New Years party you never knew you were hosting. You open your door in your flannel pjs and everyone else is dolled up. You find out that your daughter posted it on Facebook and people just keep arriving.

    1. Mary Beth

      Is your daughter grounded for the rest of her life? I know not funny to you, but I had to laugh since we already have temps at “0” but the wind chill is -16!!!!


  2. Way to funny. How about you drag yourself to bed at 1am only to find your cat got sick on your pillow after you put your head in it.

  3. Dec. 31, 2017
    1) The two items I went to the grocery story for were out of stock.
    2) I fixed the last of my leftovers for lunch so I could write the rest of the day without stopping to cook, then dropped the plate upside down on the floor two inches from the table.
    3) I bought some Spiced Apple Cider mix. When I opened the box, half of the packs were dry, spoiled and hard because the perforations cut at the factory cut into the packs.
    4) I bought some diced peach snack cups this morning at the store. I put them in the frig to get cold. When I went to get one, I noticed the fruit was very dark. I checked the date: 09/02/16!!! September 2016 on the store shelves today?

    I figure if the last day of 2017 is this bad, 2018 can only go up from here.

  4. Getting the flu after I got the shot 2 months ago-the flu two weeks
    before Christmas, had to cancel Christmas get together. The only thing good was that I didn’t have to cook for 15-21 people! Lol

    1. Learn when I was in the U.S. Army that evrey time I had to get the flu shot I got sick so I no loger get it and spent the year flu free.

  5. The drone your son got for Christmas stopped working but not before it took your picture in the shower.

  6. Actually, a muddy dog cuddling wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

    Oh, and my family has been without power for three days because of an ice storm. So their cable won’t been on to turn off at midnight…

  7. Yes = You raided my mail and gave away all my secrets and all my failings@ Happy New Year to you too.

  8. Happy New Year Sharon. Thanks for the laugh. Add that your having toast with peanut butter for New Years meal because your son forgot to stop and go to the store for you last week.

  9. Ha! I love the list. Love the “snarky humor” and have emailed the wrong person some…my husband’s best friend’s wife. It was a group email about getting together and instead of forwarding to my husband, I hit reply (to her) about not wanting to get together and a few “snarky” thoughts. Oops…. Happy 2018 to you all.

  10. Thanks for the humorous New Year (2018) list and the comments from others. I wish you all the best and enjoy reading your books. Keep up the great work.

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